Held August 10, 2004.
National Family Justice Association (NFJA)
National Prayer Vigil/Peaceful ProtestCoordinator Contact Info | Posters
Why are we peacefully protesting? Why a national prayer vigil/peaceful protest against family injustice and paternity fraud?The National Family Justice Association (NFJA), a nonprofit organization, will sponsor a national prayer vigil/peaceful protest against family injustice and paternity fraud to be held in cities across the nation, and internationally, in spring, 2004 (date to be announced). The protest will be called "Families Seeking Justice."
Many have been affected by family court, child support agency decisions, or pressing issues related to marriage and divorce, child custody, or family breakup. If you have not been personally affected, you most likely know someone who is - perhaps a friend, a relative, a colleague, etc.
This is a pervasive issue potentially affecting millions of people. Just looking at the non-custodial parent situation alone, there are approximately 14 million non-custodial parents. Add in their parents on both sides, grandmothers, second wives, their significant others, friends, extended family, and others, and we are looking at quite a large number of people.
Then if we look at the enormous taxpayer and social costs of problems caused by children being unnecessarily and unfairly separated from fit parents - increased suicide, drug use, and teenage pregnancy, for example - it is obvious to anyone that this is an urgent issue that must be addressed now. This situation can change for the better.
We all suffer when fraud and injustice is tolerated in our society. But in order to fix a problem, the problem must be made visible and its causes correctly diagnosed in order to find a solution. We all suffer when constitutional rights and family and parental decisions are unjustly intruded upon by the state, or our and our children's liberty interests are ignored.
Although there has been some progress, these issues have not yet received enough attention or public awareness of the systemic problems affecting so many families. We, as a society, need to seek solutions for the millions of people who suffer at the mercy of negative attitudes, stereotypes, sexism, and dangerous and misguided social policies.
Hence, the need for a prayer vigil/peaceful protest to raise public awareness of problems that potentially affect us all.
What, specifically, are we praying about or peacefully protesting about?
Of the approximately 14 million non-custodial parents, about 12 million of them are fathers. These fathers want to see their children and have healthy relationships with them, which is their children's birthright.
Nevertheless, countless loving fathers, and some mothers, have not seen their beloved children in years, (or have not been able to have a full and equal relationship with their child), but not because they don't care and have not been trying.
Many parents have depleted their finances - some spending thousands on court costs just to see their child. These parents much would have preferred to spend that money on the child. Some have also been emotionally devastated trying to see the child by working through family court, to no avail - something these parents never should have had to fight for since most have valid court orders in addition to their fundamental rights to their children, and their children's rights to know them.
When the non-custodial parent is cut off, tragically, so is the entire extended family full of people who simply want to love and care for the child who would thrive in this positive environment.
Children need and love their fathers as much as they need and love their mothers. Non-custodial dads and moms are tired of being seen as merely a paycheck. They want the constitutionally protected rights of their children to know and love their own parent to be enforced.
In too many cases, family courts are not enforcing their own court orders for "visitation" and children are suffering as a result. Furthermore, a rebuttable presumption of 50/50 child custody for fit parents should be the norm. This custody reform may also help to prevent the demise of some marriages, as research suggests.
Other common issues that are ripe for this protest are move-aways, parental abductions, unfair adoptions, and fraudulent paternity establishments. What do these issues all have in common? Unnecessary hardship, suffering, and injustice for good families and children.
At the base of many of these issues is a bias against men and fathers as nurturers, and the idea that one parent is disposable. Ask the child. They need and love both parents, and this is what our policies and attitudes should reflect.
Especially with both parents working outside the home in many families nowadays, it is clear that a father's place is not solely in the workplace away from the children.
Why the focus on paternity fraud?
First of all, what is paternity fraud? It is astounding, but true, that many men across the country are being coerced by court order to pay child support for other men's children. They must comply or face the possibility of serving jail time and other punitive measures. Some refer to these deceived men as "duped dads." They are victims of paternity fraud.
Another astounding fact is that in the year 2000, The American Association of Blood Banks found that in almost 30 percent of the paternity tests conducted the man being tested was not the biological father.
We believe the widespread phenomenon of paternity fraud illustrates how far astray our system has gone. The acceptance of paternity fraud by the system is evidence of something deeply wrong. But, it doesn't have to be this way. It can be changed.
For every assigned "duped dad," there is a potential deadbolted dad who very much may want to be able to love his child as any parent does. Men love their children as much as women do, but too many in society seem to have forgotten this basic truth. Furthermore, "duped dads" also love the children involved. We are here to remind people of these facts. The children need these loving men in in their lives also.
People who learn the truth - that men can be forced under the threat of jail to support other men's children - are overwhelmingly in favor of legislation to curb paternity fraud. To most people, the truth matters.
Time and time again, when radio shows address the issue of paternity fraud, the court of public opinion and common sense is that if the child is not the man's offspring, he should not be held legally responsible for another man's child. Frequently, host after host and caller after caller can hardly believe what they're hearing about how our current system usually deals with the children in question, duped dads, biological fathers, and all families involved. Everyone suffers.
Although a handful of states have wisely changed their laws regarding paternity fraud and release men who are not the dads from court orders, most have not yet done so. For example, California recently passed a paternity fraud bill through both houses, but Gov. Gray Davis vetoed it. As a result, too many families in California are still suffering, and are still waiting for long overdue relief.
It does not benefit anyone in society to coerce men to be financially responsible for other men's children because the state, or anyone else, says they need the money. This is ill-gotten money. The ends do not justify the means, and countless men are vulnerable to default judgments of paternity. This is unfair and intolerable in our great country. The truth matters.
The need for Unity
Part of the reason why change is so slow, is that some of the people who are affected by the problems described above are isolated from each other, and they have not yet joined together. They don't know that they are not alone in their plight. Many don't know that there are others having similar experiences, and that their situation is not unique. On the contrary, there are many of us who share similar experiences, and through this prayer vigil/peaceful protest and other educational events, we must reach out to those who are isolated and to each other so we can solve these problems together.
This is a call for unity. This is a civil rights movement where we are making the problems and solutions to those problems known. We need to gather our voices together so we can be heard. We can do this.
Who should participate?
We are asking that anyone with an interest in preserving families and the American way - men, women, children, second wives, non-custodial parents, custodial parents, all advocacy groups, grandmothers, grandfathers, clergy, religious leaders, aunts, uncles, other extended families, friends, or those who agree with our cause but are not yet personally affected - please join with us for a national prayer vigil/peaceful protest across the country in cities local to you.
If you or someone you know has been adversely affected by a family court or child suppport agency decision, or if you've been cut off from your grandchild or child unjustly through access denial, please join us to raise public awareness of our plight.
We plan to have prayer vigils/peaceful protests at family courts and child support agencies in as many cities as we can. In the past, this peaceful protest format has worked to get the word out, receiving national and local television, radio, and print coverage. We've reached thousands, perhaps millions with our message. We know that this format works, and we can do it again... with your help. Are you up to the challenge? We know you are.
Together, we can change this. There are millions of families and parents out here, and the time has come for change - for our children's sake and for the sake of our society.
Why a prayer vigil?
It is each individual group's choice as to how they want to create their own local peaceful protest. We are offering suggestions that may or may not fit in with what your particular group wants to do. For those of you who want to include prayer, this is meant to be a non-denominational prayer vigil. We welcome anyone of any faith or religion, or of no particular faith or belief. We welcome all ministers, rabbis, priests, and others. Many of you have people in your congregations who are affected by these issues or perhaps you yourself are affected.
If you choose not to incorporate this aspect into your protest, please feel free to do so. We encourage you to be creative with your peaceful protest, but we stress that this is absolutely a legal peaceful protest. Violence of any kind will not be tolerated. Violence will not be encouraged and will not be condoned.
Join with us now to raise public awareness and make positive change today. Don't worry if you have never peacefully protested before. We will offer step by step guidance if you want it, and help with contacting media.
Please consider becoming a coordinator in your city. Some of you are already experienced at this and you know what to do. We also welcome suggestions for this national prayer vigil/peaceful protest, but due to the expected size of this event, we won't be able to respond personally to all suggestions, but all will be read and appreciated.
A Call to Action - What You Can Do Today
Go to www.NFJA.org to read our mission statement. Then please call NFJA at (330)-534-3510 or send an email to NFJAinfo@aol.com and sign up now as a participant or a coordinator for your city.
Also, please sign up for the free email mailing list at www.NFJA.org so we can easily communicate with you and provide important news and information.
Over time, information will be provided for you to help you create your peaceful protest and to help you get permits. Flyers will be provided that can be adapted to your specific information. Information for making banners and signs, and how to publicize your event - including news releases and suggestions on how to contact media, and how to recruit participants and raise awareness of our issues - will be available.
We are hoping for 25 or more people at each city/site. If you can recruit hundreds or thousands, great! If only 1 or 2 people attend in one particular city, we are still successful, because every one of us will be part of a larger whole. And, 1 or 2 people can still reach thousands by passing out flyers and speaking with media. (If speaking to local media is not something you want to do, we will have national speakers who may be able to assist with that.)
We plan for this to be the first of many repeated peaceful protests. We need repetition and clarification of our message in order to effect positive change for our families - and for society. We will not stop until there is justice and fairness for all families and especially our children.
Please sign up as a participant or a coordinator of a prayer vigil/peaceful protest in your city today. Also, please circulate this page of information to all groups and interested people. Please bear with us as we get this up and running. Donations to NFJA for the effort will be greatly appreciated.
Again, this is a call for Unity. Let's move forward now toward positive change. Thanks in advance to all for your commitment and hard work for children and families. Let's go... we can do this! Together we can make a difference!
We look forward to hearing from you!